You didn't mean it baby when you said forever and always.)’: )’: )’: He, she, I, you, we, they don’t understand me.
Darn it. I’m crying like shit right now. I don’t know how to explain it either. I really need a shoulder. And I hate my life right now, everything is just so wrong. I felt like ending it anytime. Oh yes, that would be great. Even though I know that shows I’m a coward – never wanted to face the truth, face the problem, never. Even though I know I’m useless, helpless, I never did anything. I’m really totally fed up with my attitude. No one can help, no one will either. But then, I was disappointed by you too. I thought you’ll understand after you know the truth. Yet, everything seems like got even worst. You changed so much, it’s like you don’t care anymore.
… …
They said I’m getting out of control, wild and so on. Rebellious would definitely be suitable for me isn’t? Yeah, yeah, so whatever. I didn’t do anything wrong or bad, it’s just a gathering. What’s the big deal? Why will it end up me locked up forever? Anyone can set me free? It’s my fault for rising up my voice, I admit. But then, I’ve been putting all the anger and unhappiness inside me for such a long time. Sometimes I may have became impatient and explode or whatever you say. I know I have a lot of activities, so what. That isn’t a bad thing, and I did not neglect my studies either. And yeah, I really felt like saying this in front of them – it is PMR year, so what. Why are exams and studies so important in their eyes? Wtf. Why they never think about how I felt? Why, why, why. Why can’t I just have a little of my privacy and freedom?
Sigh. I promise to myself, my kids won’t live in a world like I had.
