Perhaps, we are not as in love as before anymore. Perhaps, we've gone past that stage in our relationship. Now that once burning flame had settled down and we have gotten so used to the presence of each other, that we could be taking for granted of having each other.
Guess it's unfair to speak on behalf of you, maybe it's just me.
Things seemed to be different, something - someone have changed. If I were to cry myself to sleep almost every night, if I were to find the need to convince myself that I am still in love in any way possible - don't you think there is something wrong? With me at least?
And I feel like I'm stabbing my heart whenever I do this to you, whenever I intentionally keep quiet and have long silences during phone calls; not wanting to reply your messages in hope that you would notice how unhappy I am, because sometimes I really know that you are trying hard to understand, to make me feel happy - yet, I'm being such a bitch.
There are honestly a lot of little things that you don't do anymore, maybe I should grow up and stop dwelling on these little, petty, irrelevant things. But they meant so much to me. Yet if I were to say out loud - Why don't you do this anymore? Why aren't you doing that anymore? It may just make me seemed, childish.
It should be a joyful and festive season, especially when we're getting closer to New Year, but here I am typing another solemn and depressing blog post.
Maybe I don't deserve you, maybe I don't deserve anyone at all.
