One night before, we were just happily taking an evening stroll at our campus new field. One night after, I was crying myself to sleep, with this terrible piercing feeling inside my heart.
That hurts, so bad.
My parents found out about us once again. And this isn't the time where I slot in a line like, 4th time's the charm? I was dumbfounded. It was unexpected, and it hit us in the worst time of all.
My hands were shaking and my head was spinning when I saw those text messages that came through my phone. I couldn't believe my eyes. Even until now, honestly, I couldn't believe it's happening again, because everything had been so perfect - for so long. We just celebrated our 32nd monthsary, 2 years 10 months.
I spoke to them for close to 3 hours. I thought I could come clean this time, completely and honestly, cause I really don't want us to go back into hiding again.
But they bashed me back down with all sorts of reasonings, and I just could not find enough words to defend for our relationship. Two against one, and also, I have my mother with her really, exaggerated and dramatic emotions.
This time around I didn't cry in front of them. I was a lot more calmer. A lot more still and patient. Maybe because I've been so used to it, so used to being placed in that guilty seat, so used to hearing those words again and again.
I didn't know what to do. I really didn't. I was so distracted this entire day, and I was came to realization that, there actually isn't a right or wrong viewpoint in this. I cannot blame them for being overprotective, they are my parents - they obviously always want the best for me.
As much as they want to protect me from being harmed, from making mistakes, from selecting the wrong choices, they failed to realize that - this is my life, my future. As much as they can talk about how my future might turn out to be (note, might), they cannot foresee my future. Nobody can. Nobody knows what holds for my future. But I'm the person who should decide for it, I'm the person who should find that out.
And they cannot, should not, stop me from making mistakes. Making mistakes is a huge part in life. If you are never given the risks to take and make mistakes, you'll never learn to fall, you'll never learn about humility, you'll never learn to get back to the ground by yourself. You'll never learn, anything.
Ultimately, they can never protect me from storms and rocky roads forever. What they can do however, is guide me and let me grow to face these challenges in life. They need to trust me to make my own decisions, for once, they have to let go of their hands and taking control over my life.
I won't let the story of us just end like this. I won't. Forever your sunshine till the day the sun stops shining baby.
