Can’t believe it, can’t believe it, can’t believe it (x10) everything happened so fast, just in a flick of time. I was standing way high up on the elevator. My group mates – yan ling su ming pui kei and mern jo were helping me all around. They were supposed to throw me to the front and I’ll fall in their arms. So, I didn’t move, I trusted them and let them control me. But, the next second I heard a loud thud and I was on the ground.
I stunned for a few seconds, because I fell to the ground and my head hit the ground so very hard. Suddenly, everyone surrounded me and hugged me so tightly. Weird because I felt nothing – not even a bit of pain, but tears burst out. The others thought I was really in pain, and couldn’t stop rubbing back of my head, asking do you know me, etc.
Ee ring told me that su yin also fell down and knocked her head once. She didn’t felt anything too after she fell, but at night her mom called and she was in the hospital. omg, omg. Hopefully that tragedy won’t happen to me. No-no-no, I don’t wanna die at such young age whey.
I was thinking I might lose my mind or either die when I fell, but strangely I wasn’t afraid at all.
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It’s either you be mine or I’ll be yours.
Az, I’m really sorry I disappointed you. I still have a lot of things unable to speak out today when I’m in front of you. I reacted too quickly. And it’s like everything I said is not supposed to be said, everything came out in the opposite way. I walked away too fast. I should listen to your opinion first. Don’t just agree with me, I’m sure there is something you wanted to say too, right?
Az, I wanted you to know that I’m not okay at all for this one month and eleven days. I didn’t purposely pretended you don’t exist, I wanted to because I was hoping that it would help me to forget about you easier. And I wanted to forget about you because since that day you threw everything back to me, I thought you’ve forget about everything and you’ve gave up.
Az, I thought about being back friends during this one month and eleven days too. But, I was really afraid that the same thing would happen again. You know the main reason why we’re unable to be together now, it’s because we’ve lost contact – we don’t have that much time being together and my own problems, I couldn’t solve problems face to face and I makes you felt like you’re just a friend of mine rather than a boyfriend. So, what’s the main point when after being back as friends and then be in a relationship, and everything repeats again? Crossing the border line will only make things worst.
Az, I know I’ve been giving you that cold look and just walked passed you every time I see you. I didn’t wanted it too, I wanted to just look at you and smiled like how I used to. But, I’m afraid you too might give me that cold look or maybe worst, acted like I’m invisible. It will only hurt me more, so I thought why don’t just remain in this status even though it’s still hurting me, but at least it won’t be that bad.
Az, I miss you and yes I still love you like never.
God, please choose either make me lose my mind or make the sun come out once again.
