Monday, February 23, 2009

The end of the end.

I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees and then the palms of my hand, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn’t lost consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.
I did not resurface …


“Thanks for the memories. Goodbye.” That’s the last word he said. He didn’t even looked at me, but only handed me a bag full of our memories. I was stunned. At that moment, I really hoped that tears can roll down to my cheek, hoped that I can just cry out loud and not even wanted to care about others’ curious eyes staring at me. But, I didn’t. I guess too many nights of crying, the tears are, no more. The feeling was so awful, like you wanted to scream everything out but nothing came out from your voice box.

I couldn’t regret, as I was the one who started this and ended this. He had made his decision, and I have made my choice. There is no U-turn anymore and we’ll have to follow our own path from now on.

Click. Delete. He made things seem so easy. He’s like so heartless, deleting all the memories we’ve been through, leaving them behind. How I wished I can be like him, just click and delete everything, not leaving one left. But I really can’t, guess he have stolen my title being the cruelest person on earth.

Since the past had already passed and nothing can be changed, I’ll just need to move on without him. It will be hard to forget him and my favorite smile of his, but I’m sure I’ll survive through this, I will be fine. And I believe in what Edward said, “ … time heals all wounds for your kind … ” Just like how I’d used to last time, only this time the person was someone who I still loved.

Thanks for the memories. Goodbye, dearest AZ.